


Until My Dying Day

by flowerslovestories



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broadway References, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by Moulin Rouge!, Other, Reunions, Song: Come What May (Moulin Rouge!)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:27:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27907441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerslovestories/pseuds/flowerslovestories
Summary: Rey and Ben were former co-stars that headlined a musical at the start of their careers. They were head-over-heels and hopelessly in love with each other but ambition drew them apart. Now, a decade after, they are being asked to sing their most popular duet from the musical for a charitable cause. Will old feelings come to surface or has the prolonged absence made their hearts grow cold?
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 34





	Until My Dying Day

**Author's Note:**

> Well, hello there! Surprise! Welcome to the Midnight Sun to Come What May’s Twilight. ;)
> 
> While I was doing the edits for Come What May to post here in AO3, an idea came to me about presenting two sides to the same story. Here, you will see Rey’s perspective thus there will be parts that are similar to original fic (mostly the dialogue) but the circumstances surrounding it were definitely tweaked. Also, something else was added here to give more context to Rey's side of the story.
> 
> Please note that I made a conscious effort in both versions of the fic for the baddies who were featured in the sequel trilogy not to have any sort of villainous traits, just some ulterior motives or idiosyncrasies. It’s also the reason why there’s no mention of Kylo Ren and I stuck with Ben Solo instead.
> 
> Also, much like Midnight Sun, this is a longer post compared to Come What May, so when you see this -- ******* -- that means you can rest before continuing to read. 
> 
> Like what said in my original tweet, this may be the first and last time I write fan fiction, unless there comes a prompt so powerful it will compel me to do this again. Until then, thank you for reading and taking time on this journey with me!

Andrea Johnson was not the kind of person used to being anchored in one place for a prolonged period of time. Not in the last decade, at least. Her highly-demanding, fast-paced acting career made sure of that. She saw flight seats, trailers, flashbulbs and hotel rooms more compared to her home in LA. Now, for almost year, she finds herself waking up in her apartment in New York, rays of early morning sunlight peaking through her bedroom window.

Her mobile phone rang and she reached for it from the charging pad on her side table, and saw her publicist’s name, Finn Driver, on it.

“Hi, Finn!” Rey acknowledged, unable to suppress a yawn that escaped her lips.

“Oh, sorry Rey. Did I wake you up? Are you decent?”

Rey sensed Finn’s excitement, “Yeah, I’m decent.”

“Turn your camera on.”

Rey turned her camera on and she saw Finn, her agent Zorii Bliss, and her assistant Snap Wexley on the phone.

“Congratulations, Rey!” They chorused.

Zorii added, “You got another Grammy nomination for Best Spoken Word! What did I tell you? You were meant to narrate that book. I can smell another win, darling.”

Rey smiled, “Wow, thanks guys! When did the announcement came?”

Snap replied, “Just this morning. That’s why we called you.”

Finn interjected, “Anyway, we are going to celebrate. We’ll bring some food and wine to your apartment later. I’m sure you’re phone’s going to be off the hook with congratulatory calls and messages. Just be ready, okay? Let’s work on what you’re going to say to the press. I’m getting some messages already requesting for an interview.”

“Got it, Finn. Thank you everyone! See you later. Love you all.”

As soon as she hung up, another call came in. This time it was from Armitage Hux, her ex-husband.

“Hey, Armie. What’s up?”

“Hi, Rey. I heard the news. Congratulations!”

“Thanks, Armie. Can I help you with anything?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to congratulate you. Also, Allana’s asking if she can stay for a few more days before she’s back there again.”

“Sure. That’s should be fine. Thanks for taking care of her, Armie.”

“No problem. Um, Rey…”

“Yes?”

“When are you going to tell her?”

His question was met with silence.

Armie continued, “Rey, Allana needs to know. Isn’t that why you moved back there?”

Rey replied, “I need more time, Armie. I hope you understand. It’s not easy.”

“Okay, I won’t pressure you, but you know how the paps can get. We’re lucky we’ve managed to keep her hidden this long. They almost got close last time.”

“I know. Thanks, Armie.”

“No problem. I’ll update you on Allana’s arrangements, okay? Bye.” Armie hung up.

Hundreds of calls and messages came in after and her phone died instantly. Rey took it as her cue to breathe. She placed her phone back on the charging pad and went to her bathroom. She could use a long, hot bath.

 _This is going to be a very long day_ , she thought.

*******

Later in the evening and three bottles of wine after, the mini-celebration was in full swing. Rey found herself laughing at Snap’s tiny mishap story when he took the subway. She was sitting on the couch and she was surrounded by Zorii and her assistant, Babu Frik, as well as Finn and his long-time boyfriend, Poe Dameron, who is the current chairman of The Actors Fund.

"Hey Rey, I got a favor to ask of you. I’m not sure if you’re going to be okay with it but I hope you can hear me out.”

“Sure, Poe. What is it?”

“You know that, since the pandemic, the theatre community took a big hit. A lot of people lost their jobs and are struggling to make ends meet.”

Rey nodded her understanding.

“And since lately, virtual reunions have been the rage and proven successful as means to generate funds for charity, I was planning on organizing another musical reunion, this time featuring Andrew Snoke’s repertoire. It was one of the requests we got from the donors and fans after we did Webber and Sondheim.”

It was slowly dawning on Rey where Poe was going with his request. The look that Finn and Zorii gave her seemed to confirm her suspicions.

“Rey, um… would you be okay singing your duet again with Ben Solo?”

Rey didn’t know if it was sheer luck or if fate was playing a mean game on her, forcing her to face her own music sooner than she could ever imagine.

“Why that song? I mean, I had solos in the musical and I can sing any of those.”

“I know, Rey. I’m not questioning that. However, the duet is the most memorable piece in that musical. It even gave you your first Tony.”

“But have we secured permissions… that can be tricky since he’s gone…”

“It’s been taken care of Rey. Since Snoke didn’t have any next of kin, he donated his entire work and all succeeding royalties attached to it to The Broadway League as part of his last will.”

“Wow, that’s generous of him,” Rey snickered mildly.

Rey team’s knew that she was stalling. They were stealing glances from each other. It was Finn’s knowing glance that stopped Rey from her tracks.

“Um… Does Ben… uh, Mr. Solo know that this is being arranged?”

Poe replied, “Mr. Solo’s publicist has been informed. We were told that he’s currently in the middle of remastering some of his original songs for Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist. He doesn’t want to be disturbed but we were assured that he will provide a response in a week’s time.”

Finn jumped in, looking at Poe, “Babe, Rose assured me that she’ll convince Ben… uh, Mr. Solo… so I think it’s in the bag. Besides, from what you told me, he’s never refused any request especially one that benefits the theatre community.”

Poe looked at Rey and asked, “So what do you say, Rey? Is it a yes? Pretty, please…”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh. Poe, much like his boyfriend, had mastered the puppy-dog-eye technique that she found it quite hard to resist.

“Oh, alright. It’s for charity anyway. I don’t have any choice, do I?” Rey teased and Poe grinned from ear-to-ear.

“None! Kidding. Thanks, Rey! You’re a goddess.”

More laughter ensued.

Poe continued, “That settles it. I’ll have a crew come here early December to tape you and Ben simultaneously over video conference. Hopefully, in a week’s time, we’ll get confirmation from his team so that we can finalize the logistics on his end.”

Snap added, “This is reunion is going to be the best. I can’t wait.”

 _So, can I Snap. So can I_ , Rey thought as dread was slowly sinking in.

_What have I agreed to?_

*******

A week after, Rey was in her home office reading a script that was sent by Zorii when she received two messages on her phone: one from Armie and the other from Finn.

Armie shared that Allana was not feeling well due to stomach flu. Her pediatric doctor advised to delay her return until December as a precaution or they run the risk of heavy inquiry from the TSA.

Meanwhile, Finn got an update from Rose that Mr. Solo agreed to do the reunion and that everything is set for the video conference which will happen in two weeks.

Rey keyed in her replies to both messages. After hitting Send, she felt her temples throbbing as if she was going to have a migraine. She switched off her iMac Pro’s monitor, put her mobile phone face down, closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

When she felt better, Rey paced in her office to relieve the tension she felt on her neck, which she attributed to, perhaps, her exhaustion from reading the script Zorii sent her. Her home office was her other sanctuary aside from her bedroom. It looked like any typical home office except for the floor-to-ceiling trophy case that housed all her awards. In the middle shelf, her major awards were in prominent display. She glanced at her two Emmys, her Grammy, her two Oscars, and her Tony and stopped there. The Tony was her first acting award and she found herself thinking how far she came, from being that talented but socially-withdrawn acting scholar from England, who took a chance to try her luck in Broadway at the suggestion of her mentor and school director, Maz Katana.

Rey remembered when she moved to New York. She only had a couple thousand pounds, a small suitcase of clothes, a recommendation letter for Circle in the Square Theatre School, as well as her grit and motivation to build an acting career in the US and what better place to start than in Broadway. She moved in with Jannah Calrissian, a native New Yorker, friend and fellow student, who took classes with her in London’s Royal Academy of Dramatic Art. She struggled with homesickness within her first few weeks in New York, not because she had family go to back to in London. She had none in fact, as she grew from one foster home to another until Maz decided to take under her wings when she met her during a staging of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream in a state school event.

Her homesickness was because of culture shock. Life in New York was not what she expected and there were moments where she wanted to quit and go back. Maz offered to make her life more comfortable but Rey refused. She already owed Maz for giving her a sense of purpose through acting. She didn’t want to ask or impose any further.

While Jannah was able to get short but steady acting work in Broadway productions, Rey didn’t have much success in her auditions. She continued with her acting classes at Circle in the Square but worked nights as a bartender at a nearby gastropub to help with the bills, even if Jannah refused. It was in one of those classes where she met Ben.

Rey was fascinated by Ben almost instantly. He was a juxtaposition of features that, if viewed singularly, it wouldn’t make sense but as a whole, it was breathtaking, especially when he embodies every single character he was asked to play during acting drills. He was always awkward around her though. He couldn’t look at her when she would gently wave at him from across the room. She got a chance to know him better when their acting professor, Obi-Wan Kenobi, paired them up as Hamlet and Ophelia.

Rey saw Ben’s passion and drive to learn acting when they were preparing for their drill. When she learned that he graduated from Juilliard with a degree in music, she was more impressed. As a result of their hard work, their performance in the drill caught the attention of the school’s director, Mace Windu, and decided to give them a task that somehow felt more like a reward than an assignment to be aced: to perform The Last Five Years by Jason Robert Brown in front of Andrew Snoke, a multi-awarded playwright and composer, who would be doing a talk for the school. Rey thought that this was going to be her chance, the break that she was looking for, and it was.

Somewhere in between preparing for The Last Five Years and Snoke casting them as his leads for his new musical, Rey and Ben fell in love. They secretly moved in together two months after they started their grueling rehearsals for Snoke's musical. She started calling him "partner", and so did he in return. Their favorite part of their rehearsals, and even when they started their run on stage, was when they got to sing their duet. To them, it wasn’t just lines in a musical -- it was their promise of love to each other.

**Come what may, I will love you until my dying day.**

Their days on stage were exhausting but rewarding. Every time they got out the stage door, people who saw the musical lined up to say how much they loved them and that they were perfect for each other. They even got asked if they were a couple, which they denied repeatedly because they knew that Snoke frowned upon relationships among cast and crew. He saw it as a source of distraction. Rey thought otherwise, but couldn’t say it to this face since she was new in the industry. All she knew was every time she and Ben had sex, it seemed to fuel their performance and not dampen it.

Rey couldn’t imagine spending her life with anyone else, and it seemed to be the same with Ben, thus on the night after their last performance, he proposed to her in their tiny walk-up in the Bronx. She said yes. And oh, how they made love that night. A month after, they were nominated for the Tony Awards. When they won during the ceremony, Rey felt that everything was falling into place. She just won an acting award. She was going to marry the man that she loves. They were moving to LA to pursue their acting careers and their agents were able to book them auditions.

What Rey wasn’t prepared for was how Snoke was able to easily talk to Ben into seeing things differently. She knew that there was something wrong with him when they got home from the after-party. He started nitpicking on things she did that didn’t annoy him before. And when she asked what was wrong, he would leave and not return until the following day. It took a toll on her patience that it reared its ugly head when she learned that Ben accepted Snoke’s offer to be his associate director without telling her. Rey didn’t know what to do. She felt her life was falling apart. She started to ask him…

_when did you make this decision?_

_what about our plans to get married and move to LA?_

_why didn’t you tell me?_

_am I not your partner?_

Ben had an answer to her every question. If it made sense, it didn’t resonate with her. All she knew was she was losing Ben. She cried, begged and hugged him, hoping he’d reconsider. He bore a hard look on his face that seemed resolute. Rey knew that she lost and she chose to accept defeat. She went to their shared room and cried herself to sleep. As soon as she heard him leave their walk-up, she called Jannah and asked if she could crash on her couch until she flies to LA. When Jannah agreed, Rey packed her belongings immediately, gave her spare key to their landlord and left without leaving a note to Ben. She was still in Jannah’s apartment when Ben called, a few days after, asking if she knew where Rey was. Jannah stuck to their agreed script -- Rey was already in LA and didn’t know her address. Jannah called Ben an a-hole for choosing Snoke over Rey and told him not to call her again.

Rey’s reverie was distracted by her phone ringing. It was Allana.

“Hello, my darling. How are you?”

“Hi mum, my tummy hurts. I’m sorry I’m such a bad girl.”

“No, you’re not a bad girl sweetheart.”

“I miss you, mum.”

“I miss you too, sweetheart. Don’t give your dad a hard time, huh?”

“Okay, mum. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Dad wants to talk to you.”

Rey could hear Allana passing the phone to Armie. He spoke after a beat.

“Rey, sorry about that. She kept asking for you.”

“It’s okay. I can’t thank you enough.”

“I’ll see you when I drop Allana off a few weeks from now. Stay safe.”

Armie ended the call.

Rey was grateful that, even after the divorce, they remained friends. She owed Armie for a lot of things but the greatest would be helping her to keep Allana a secret. It wasn’t easy considering Armie’s status as a Hollywood a-lister.

When Rey moved to LA, the first role she booked was as Armie’s leading lady. She recalled being afraid of him, given his “bad boy” reputation especially with how he dealt with the paparazzi and all the women whom he dated and whose hearts he’s broken. It was during their rehearsals when Rey learned that it was all an image that his team created given his sharp looks that were more suited for anti-hero, leading men roles.

In reality, Armie was a gentle, reserved person and if he had a choice, he would rather do directing than acting. However, given his family’s legacy, it became expected he’d follow in his grandfather and mom’s footsteps. It was also due to his family’s legacy and connections in the industry that helped protect Rey when she found out she was pregnant with Allana. It was during a scene they were shooting together where she collapsed all of a sudden and a routine blood test confirmed it.

Armie was instrumental in ensuring that the movie production was completed before Rey’s bump started to show and any press or marketing was to be done two months after she gave birth. Armie fell in love with Rey because she brought out the best in him and she gave him the courage to pursue directing. He also fell in love with Allana even if he knew she wasn’t his. He never asked about Rey’s past and that made her fall in love with him too. It was the easiest thing she did. Theirs was a solid partnership, as actors and creatives, and they made a few more movies together until they went for more individual pursuits. In between movies and mini-series, they got married. When they got asked about children in their future, they had the same answer: it wasn’t in the cards, which has kept Allana hidden and unknown. While they consummated their marriage, Armie was sterile and given his incapacity to bear children, he asked for the divorce.

At first, Rey refused. The divorce felt like a rejection. But when Armie stated his case…

_that he wasn’t Allana’s father, even if in his heart he knew he was…_

_that somewhere out there, Rey has denied her child the right to know her real dad…_

_that there was a part of him that knew Rey married him more out of pity than love…_

_that he would rather remain silent friends with her than keep a marriage for publicity’s sake…_

Rey saw the truth in his words and hated it. She hated how selfish she was… how unfair she was to Armie. So she agreed. They created this elaborate ruse to spark rumors, starting with Armie going out on dates with other women while Rey had more solo outings either in the Bahamas or Maldives. Six months after, they made it official through a press release although the tabloids were quick to put the blame on Armie to keep up with appearances. Rey didn’t like it, but since Armie asked to do it to protect their careers, she acquiesced.

It was also then when Rey came to understand, albeit ironically, what drove Snoke to seek out Ben. He was like a son to him and since he didn’t marry nor have any next of kin, Ben filed in the gaps. Rey knew Ben suffered under Snoke’s "mentorship" but no one could tell especially with all the accolades Ben started to get as a playwright and composer. She got an easy pass with Armie, yet for a long time, even during her marriage to him, there was an anger she couldn’t let go. It was only last year when she realized that it wasn’t really anger but a lingering love that she had for Ben, that grew stronger months after the divorce was finalized. She has a reminder of that love, Allana. When she learned that there was a chance she can be with Ben again by auditioning for his new musical, Rey did whatever she could to move back to New York. However, that chance was quelled by the pandemic.

Until Poe’s reunion came to the fore.

_Two weeks, Rey. Two more weeks and you see Ben again._

*******

Two weeks passed, Rey welcomed her team and the tech crew from The Actors Fund to her apartment. She led them to her home office, not without noticing that one person was missing, Poe.

“Hey Finn, where’s Poe?” Rey asked, just as she got her regular drink from Coffee Bean from Snap’s hands.

Finn replied, “He’ll be joining virtually from the office because they need to work on the footage once you guys have completed the recording. He hasn’t slept in days because of excitement, you know.”

Rey smiled. She won’t admit that she’s on pins and needles thus she coaxed her acting skills to make them think she shared their excitement.

Snap then said, “Oh, by the way, I got confirmation from Armie that they’ll be landing in LaGuardia today and he estimates that they’ll be here an hour after you’re done with the video conference.”

Rey replied, “That’s perfect. Allana’s room is all set anyway.”

Finn said, “I can’t wait to see my little peanut and tease her for her stomach flu because she overate.”

Rey laughed, “Shut up.”

Zorii then came out of Rey’s home office and said that everything’s ready. She then informed Finn that Poe needed to speak with him and Rose first before they started. Rey’s phone rang and saw Allana’s name and signalled to Zorii that she needed to take the call.

“Hello, my darling. How are you?”

“I’m okay, mum. We’re boarding dad’s jet.”

“What? What happened to your flight? Um, darling, can you pass the phone to your dad please?”

“Okay, mum. Dad?”

Rey waited until Armie was on the phone.

“Hey Armie, what happened to your flight?”

“Well, it got cancelled and since Allana knows that she’s supposed to be with mum today, I made the arrangements for the jet.”

“It’s not necessary. That’s too much. Let me speak with Allana.”

“It’s okay, Rey. It’s been arranged and there isn’t any change in the other arrangements. We’re still landing in LaGuardia and we’re still taking the transport. I didn’t want to bother you but…”

Rey laughed. She knew Allana didn’t like it when plans changed. Her stubbornness when her mind is set on something is apparently genetic, among other things about her.

“It’s amusing that you find this entertaining.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to Armie.”

After a short pause, Rey said, “Thank you, Armie.”

Armie sensed an unspoken thought and asked, “For what?”

Rey replied, “For loving Allana, and taking care of us.”

Armie then said, “You know what will be an even better thank you?”

“What?”

“When you finally tell Allana the truth and introduce her to her father.”

“I’m working on it, Armie. I think finally, I am. I will.”

“Good. Break a leg, Rey. As if you need it. See you later.”

Rey took a deep breath and entered her office. She got her AirPods from Zorii so she can listen to the track as she sings. When she sat in front of her iMac Pro, a petite Asian woman was starting back at her from what was supposed to be Ben’s window.

“Hi, Ms. Johnson. I’m Rose, Ben’s publicist.”

“Hi, Rose. You may call me, Rey.”

“Hi, Rey. I’m so glad to finally meet you. Are we good to go?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m so sorry for the delay. I had to take an important phone call. Just got off it.”

“No problem. Let me call Ben so we can start. Ben… Ben… Ben? Um, hold on a sec.”

Rose disappeared from the screen for a good few minutes. Rey signaled Finn to ask if she looked okay. She got two-thumbs up in response.

Rey heard a throat being cleared. It sounded masculine. Her heart started to pound in her chest.

_You can do this, Rey. Think of it as pre-show jitters. Besides, here’s your chance. Take it._

Suddenly Ben materialized in front of her and her heart ached. He was still as oddly beautiful but there’s a quiet confidence in him that seemed to come with age, which made him more handsome in her eyes. It didn’t help that he was wearing white. She always loved him in white.

_Way to go and knock my socks off, Solo._

She only responded to the situation the way she knew how: by getting in the first word.

"Hey, partner! How's it been?" came her cheerful greeting which was met with silence.

_What’s happening? Did the screen freeze?_

Rey was about toggle her Magic Mouse when Ben responded.

"Hi, Rey. Doing good. Let's do this," Ben replied.

_Huh, not happy to see me. All right then._

"Right. You first," Rey said.

As the tracked played softly in her ear, Rey listened as Ben sang and waited for her cue. When it did, she sang in response. Rey thought everything was going well until they reached the duet piece of the song. They were both interrupted by Gwendoline Phasma, who was directing the recording virtually.

"Hey Ben... Rey… I'm sorry to cut you off but we need to do it from the top," Gwen said.

Rey was used to retakes so she didn’t mind when Gwen cut them off. Ben, however, looked surprised and a little miffed.

"Gwen, what's wrong with it?" Ben asked.

"Look Ben, don't go all Godzilla on me with your perfectionism. I know how you work. It sounds lovely but it's too clinical. I don't feel anything. I don't feel Satine and Christian's hope and yearning for each other," Gwen replied.

Rey started to sense the tension between the two. She remembered Armie when he would argue with his cinematographer or his 2nd unit director. This is a creative clash waiting to happen. Rey took it upon herself to break what may possibly be an escalating situation between Ben and Gwen.

"It's been a while, I guess. Maybe a few runs of it will help us a little. Right, Ben?"

Ben seemed to consider her response and offered a quick “Yeah” in agreement. So, they tried again.

Nothing seemed to work though and Rey could feel that there’s something really wrong with Ben. His brows were knit in concentration. Rey realized that maybe he was trying too hard. By the 7th run, Gwen wanted to call it a day.

Rey refused to quit -- they were doing this for charity after all and it wouldn’t serve The Actors Fun if they quit. Poe would have a fit wider than any airport known to man. Whenever a similar situation happened in her movie sets, the director would always ask for a quick break and that’s what she did.

“Um guys, perhaps we can take a quick 10-minute break. I know we want to do well for The Actors Fund so I think the gap will help us, alright? Thanks everyone!”

Rey looked at Ben on the screen after she requested for the break. He looked like he was going to break something. She pressed the mute button and called Finn.

“Hey, can you call Rose for me please and tell her I’d like to speak with Ben privately?”

Finn gave her a concerned look, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yeah, I think I know what’s bothering him. Can you do it for me please?”

“Give me a minute.”

Finn stepped aside to call Rose and gave her the instructions that Rey asked. Finn gave her his phone and left her home office along with Zorii, Snap and the crew to give her some privacy.

"Hello," came Ben’s rich baritone on the other end.

"Hi, Ben. It's Rey. I hope it’s okay that I asked my publicist to call yours because I didn't know your number. I’m sorry."

"No need to apologize. In fact, I should be the one saying that considering the crappy work I'm doing."

"Don't say that. It's been a while so naturally this is expected. I forgive you."

"Thanks."

A few seconds of awkward silence passed between them. Rey didn’t like it when that happens. She felt uncomfortable when things get too quiet. Rey continued to speak and somehow her resolve to finally say what she needed to tell Ben came. She was hoping it’ll help him get his mind off where he was and find where he needed to be.

"And it's not just for that, Ben."

"What do you mean?"

"I forgive you for everything. Look at where we are now. Snoke was a jerk but he had foresight. We needed to grow into ourselves. What we had then was good, Ben."

Again, there was silence. Ben looked torn. Rey’s heart ached. She couldn’t bear to see him this way. She decided to make her last pitch and appeal to him the only way she knew how and hoped it will be enough.

"So, what do you say? Will you be my Christian again, just this once, for old time's sake? Please?"

Something seemed to click in Ben. Rey felt she made a breakthrough but that only made her heart beat faster the moment he said…

"Okay, my Satine. I will."

For the first time since they started recording, Ben finally found his voice and sang. There was something in the way he sang now that was different. At first, Rey thought that it was Ben pretending to be the Christian to her Satine. When they reached the duet part, Rey realized that it was Ben who was singing to her. He was not embodying Christian. She felt his pain, his regret, his unshed tears. Ben was apologizing to her. Ben was telling her that he still loves her. The words came to her like a renewed promise and it scared her. Now, Rey was the one barely keeping it together.

_Is it possible? Can we be together again, Ben? Will you really love me until my dying day?_

Before she knew it, the song ended and a chorus of applause came from all ends of the video conference, as well as sniffles. There wasn't a dry eye in her office: Zorii and Snap were bawling, Finn called Poe and started saying I love you to him. Even Gwen, who was known to be tough-as-nails, was on the verge of tears.

_How do I know what you’re feeling is real, Ben? How will I know you’ll never break my heart again?_

Rey couldn’t know, could she? She was distracted by sight of Armie’s head sticking at the door, because he probably thought she was done by now. She hastily made her exit.

"Right, so we're done yeah? Thank you, Poe. Thank you, Gwen. Thank you, Ben. Thank you all. Awesome work, guys. So sorry to leave but I need to be somewhere," Rey said hurriedly and left her home office to welcome Allana and smother her with hugs and kisses. Along with it came the strength to finally tell the truth. Armie saw it in her eyes. It was time.

*******

Secrets.

Rey never liked them. In fact, it was the reason why she broke up with Ben because he kept his acceptance to Snoke’s offer a secret from her. And what did she do in return? Keep a nine-year old child from her own father, which was far worse by any standards.

Armie was loading a suitcase on one side of the room as Rey checked on Allana.

“How was your trip, my darling?”

“It was fine, mum. You know I like dad’s jet so it’s cool.”

Rey couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Armie motioned to leave the room to give them some privacy.

“Armie, will you stay? Please.”

Armie nodded and sat on the other side of the bed, putting Allana between both of them.

“Sweetheart?”

“Yes, mum.”

“Remember the time when you asked me and your dad why you don’t look like us.”

“Yeah, but you told me I had your eyes.”

“That’s right.”

“And that maybe I look more like grandpa and grandma, although I don’t think so.”

Rey had to smile at Allana’s perceptiveness, “Again that’s right.”

“Why are you asking, mum?”

“Sweetheart, I’m going to tell you something. I know I told you it’s bad to keep secrets but there are times when you need to keep a secret to keep somebody you love from being hurt.”

“Do you have a secret, mum?”

Armie helped, “Actually, your mum and I have a secret.”

Allana replied, “How is it a secret if you know it?”

Rey answered, “It’s still a secret to the person who doesn’t know it.”

Allana asked, “So who doesn’t know it?”

“You, my love.”

Allana looked at Armie, then at Rey, before she asked, “What’s your secret, mum and dad?”

Before Rey said anything, Armie said, “Sweetheart, always remember that mum and dad loves you, okay?”

“Are you getting another divorce?”

Rey couldn’t stop her laughter. Allana’s penchant for not knowing how to read between the lines was hereditary.

“No, we’re not sweetheart. We cannot file for another divorce.”

“So what’s your secret then?”

“Sweetheart, Armie is not your real father. Someone else is.”

Silence fell in the room. Rey couldn’t tell if Allana was on the verge of tears but she kept shifting her glances between her and Armie.

Allana stopped to look at Armie and said, “Does that mean I cannot call you dad anymore?”

A single tear ran across Armie’s cheek. He immediately hugged Allana and said, “You can always call me dad, sweetheart. I will never stop being your dad.”

“Mum, are you telling me I got two dads? Like Uncle Finn and Uncle Poe?”

Rey heaved a sigh of relief and could only manage a nod in response.

“So when will I meet him?”

“Soon, my love. Soon.”

“Will I like him?”

“I’m think you will. In fact, you look just like him, except for your eyes.”

Allana yawned, and started to crawl underneath the sheets.

“Sleep, my love. You’re tired from the trip.”

“M’kay mum. Can dad stay and tell me a story before he goes back to LA?”

Armie replied, “Sure, sweetheart.”

Allana started to snuggle against Armie and slowly dozed off.

“Goodnight my love,” Rey kissed Allana on her forehead.

Armie said, “Go. I’ll call you before I leave.”

When Rey left Allana’s room, everyone has left except for Finn.

“Hey, how did my little peanut take it?”

“Surprisingly well. I’m sure she’ll have more questions in the morning but for now, we’re good.”

“When do you plan to tell Ben about her?”

“Soon. Right now, I could use a walk to clear my head. It’s been a long day.”

“I’ll walk with you until we reach the lobby. Poe should be here any minute now. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I cannot believe I’m going to say this Rey but Ben is still in love with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure. The way he looked at you earlier was the same look Poe gave me the moment he saw me. Smitten.”

Rey laughed as she got her trench coat, a disposable mask and her small wallet.

As they exited her building, Poe was already waiting for Finn.

“Walking again, Rey? Where are you going?” Poe asked.

“Oh, the usual,” Rey replied.

“Rey, let me know if you want to speak with Ben, okay? I’ll call Rose.”

“Sure, take care. See you.”

*******

Rey cinched her coat further as she walked. She forgot how cold New York could get in December. She decided to stop by the nearest Coffee Bean and ordered peppermint-infused tea to go. She was grateful for the heat that was seeping out of the paper cup as she walked along. By the time she reached her destination, she emptied her cup and felt sad at the sight before her.

Broadway was a little too dark for her liking. Part of the reasons why she was excited to come back was to see the lights and crowds that surrounded all the theatres. The pandemic really took a toll on the theatre community and she hoped that what she and Ben did would be able to help raise funds. She was lucky she had a great agent and a smart friend/ex-husband who taught her the business side of Hollywood. As a result, she was able to sustain herself with royalties from syndication, stock dividends and real estate lease. She could afford not to work for the next two years if she wanted, but she didn’t want to set a bad example to Allana. That was why she read as many scripts as Zorii can pass and auditioned as much as she could, hoping she’ll land her next project soon.

Rey arrived at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre, where a re-staging of same musical that started her and Ben's journey was being played, or supposed to until the pandemic shut down all plays and musicals to minimize the spread of the virus through human contact. Rey saw Lando Calrissian, the theatre’s stage manager, at the front door. He was carrying Chewie, his old orange tabby cat.

“Hey Lando, how’s it going?”

“Same old, same old. Going to the stage door?”

“Yes.”

“You got company, Rey. Someone beat you to your spot.”

“What? Who?”

Lando shrugged, “I guess you better go and find out.”

Rey rounded the corner of the theatre to reach her destination and she was surprised by what she saw.

Sitting hunched near the stage door was Ben, almost finishing what looked like a burger from Shake Shack. Rey moved closer but slowly, afraid she’ll scare him and he'll run away. When she got within his earshot, she made her presence known.

"Ben?"

Ben stood up so quickly when he saw her. He looked shocked, which was obvious with the way he spoke when it really sunk in him that it was definitely her.

"Rey? Wait... How are you... Aren't you… in LA? I mean… what are you doing here?"

_Oh, so that’s why he looked so shocked. All this time, he thought I was still in LA._

Rey laughed and replied, "I should be asking you the same. What are you doing here in my spot?"

Face still in disbelief, Ben replied, "Your spot? Wait, I asked first. What are you doing here in New York?"

Rey moved closer and answered his question, "I live here again, I guess. My building’s a few blocks away from Bryant Park. Moved back in January because I was going to audition for a musical but it got pushed because of the pandemic."

"Which musical?" Ben asked since a lot of new Broadway productions were affected.

"Yours."

Rey could see that Ben was shaking. It’s as if he was struggling to say something after learning that she planned to audition for his musical. She was expecting a more amorous response. What she got instead was typical, flustered Ben.

"You lived here for almost a year and didn't bother to tell me?"

Rey’s smile quickly faded. What he said clearly got on her nerves.

"Why should I, Ben? Did I miss a sign that says you're the mayor of the city and I need to announce my arrival or something?"

Sensing her offense, Ben raised his hands in surrender.

"I'm sorry, Rey. That came out wrong. I’m really just genuinely shocked to see you here."

Rey was mollified by Ben’s admission and apology. However, she decided she will make him pay a little more.

"Hmm, I will only accept your apology when you answer my question."

"What question? Oh, why am I here? I don't know, Rey. All I know is that for the last 10 years I've been coming here, since you left. Today's the anniversary of our first show."

Rey was stunned by his reply and she kept quiet. Ben took it as a sign to continue.

"I wanted to chase you after you left but I got a call from Snoke and he immediately put me to work. I became busy with one play after another. There was hardly a chance, a space for me to breathe in between productions. And when I did, I learned you got married so I lost hope. I turned to my compositions to bury the pain and I got better at my craft. Snoke may have died 5 years ago but it was only two weeks before this day when I realized something, the moment I learned you agreed to this reunion."

Rey felt a lump starting to form in her throat at what Ben said, prompting her to ask, "What is it?"

"You were the girl I always wrote, Rey. Every single leading lady I cast had your qualities. Every time my lead actors would sing their arias to their co-leads, it's as if I was singing them to you. Every single musical I made, I did it for you."

Rey had enough. Before Ben could say anything else, Rey closed the gap and kissed him. It took a second for him to respond and he circled his arms around her waist, nearly lifted her off her feet. His mouth was as pillow-soft as she remembered. She couldn’t stop her tears from falling down her cheeks. She missed him. She loved him. Suddenly, the dolt… her dolt… broke contact. She nearly whimpered at the loss.

"Oh, god. I'm so sorry, Rey. Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to… Crap! I mean… you insisted that I answer your question and I was merely complying and if there's no more hope for us I get it..."

"Ben, you idiot, I love you too."

It was Ben's turn to kiss her. He repeatedly told her _I love you, I missed you_ in between kisses. She felt Ben’s happiness. Both of them were.

As they broke off, Ben suggested to go somewhere else since it was getting cold and Rey thought about their old hangout, Smith’s, so they could grab a beer or two and catch up. They were about to round the corner of 46th Street, when she tugged his jacket and asked...

"Come what may?"

Ben kissed her forehead and replied, "I will love you until my dying day."

Suddenly the world seemed such a perfect place, even with some uncertainty looming over their heads… about Allana... about their future together…

All Rey knew was, she was more certain of his love and she could sense Ben's felt the same way too. The past 10 years led both of them at this point… at this moment in their lives… and no matter what happens next, Rey and Ben know that their love now flows through them with such perfect grace.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read this story from Ben's Perspective, which started this whole journey, check out [Come What May](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27906661).
> 
> ETA (14 Dec 2020):  
> I decided to do two minor corrections to this fic: first, I chose a different two-hander material for the acting drill where Snoke saw Rey and Ben perform for the first time. I replaced it with The Last Five Years instead of Constellations which made more sense since they were cast for a musical. This was also reflected in Come What May.
> 
> Last, I changed how Rey and Armie decided to announce their separation which is through a press release instead on an IG post which was more suited to how they kept Allana hidden and unknown.
> 
> [The Actors Fund](https://actorsfund.org/)
> 
> [Andrew Lloyd Webber](https://www.andrewlloydwebber.com/)
> 
> [Stephen Sondheim](http://www.sondheim.com/) (not sure if this is an official site but it provides extensive information about this great composer and lyricist)
> 
> [Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist](https://www.nbc.com/zoeys-extraordinary-playlist)
> 
> [The Juilliard School](https://www.juilliard.edu/)
> 
> [Royal Academy of Dramatic Art (RADA)](https://www.rada.ac.uk/)
> 
> [Circle in the Square Theatre School](https://circlesquare.org/)
> 
> [LaGuardia Airport](https://www.laguardiaairport.com/)
> 
> [Broadway](https://www.broadway.com/)
> 
> [Al Hirschfeld Theatre](http://www.alhirschfeldtheatre.org/)
> 
> [Bryant Park](https://bryantpark.org/)
> 
> [The Tony Awards](https://www.tonyawards.com/)
> 
> Rey's Apple gear: her [mobile phone](https://www.apple.com/iphone-12-pro/), [iMac Pro](https://www.apple.com/imac-pro/), [AirPods](https://www.apple.com/airpods/), and [Magic Mouse](https://www.apple.com/shop/product/MRME2/magic-mouse-2-space-gray).


End file.
